


something entirely new

by NERDHANDS



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Brotherly Affection, Conditioning, Depressed Papyrus, Established Relationship, Incestuous feelings, Other, Past Child Abuse, Pining, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Bad Things, Self-Hatred, Unrequited Love, edgeberry, with a side of HoneyMustard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 20:26:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11882169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NERDHANDS/pseuds/NERDHANDS
Summary: There'd always been two.Then one.... Then two again.





	1. end

**Author's Note:**

> No matter how awful I end up making this story, always remember this ;
> 
> Things that are bad to us ( and to Underswap ), people will barely bat an eye about in Underfell━ it's _natural._ The things the Fell brothers have done to one another are toxic, but it was all they knew. It'd be unfair to hate either one.

It'd been a _slow_ and _gradual_ change, dragging on so much so that when the whole picture had finally been laid out before him and his eyes had - been forced - opened, the pain hadn't crashed down onto his shoulders and rendered him broken beyond repair immediately. Instead, it was a tedious, torturous agony that ghosted over him in careful whispers and lingering touches; it told him he knew, he knew all along what fate was to befall him. And of course, they spoke the truth as they always had. The signs had been there since the very first moment they'd been forced into this ... swapped life.

He'd been bound to lose. He had done **nothing** to deserve the _one_ thing he had so desperately coveted throughout the years and thus his punishment was just; to watch it fall into the arms of another that was far more deserving than he. That was what life was about, wasn't it? What is had _always_ been about. One would think living in a world as he had done since birth would make him immune to the festering feelings of disappointment and the curdling black of _despair_ , but he'd always been too **weak,** too  **sensitive**. If he was a _real_ pillar of strength and the true epitome of the Undergrounds strength and devotion, he'd go and TAKE what he so rightfully knew he deserved, that's what he'd always been taught. 

... but he _couldn't_. 

From the very beginning, he knew he was destined to be alone. After all, it'd been entirely his own fault, hadn't it? _Nothing_ about him had ever been good enough for anything he'd every done. Yes, it'd been true that he rose through the ranks of the Guard and wrenched the title from Undyne's cold-blooded hands, but that had been _easy_. What imbecile _couldn't_ do such basic tasks such as train and kill until there was no more competition? What idiotic buffoon _couldn't_ do something as simple as preserve and protect? He was a brute with little more to offer than his position and skill.

That was all he'd ever been, and all he'd ever be. An imbecile, an idiotic buffoon that could preform basic commands and trivial duties when needed. He was capable of nothing more, nothing of substance. Nothing that people needed in order to ... _flourish_.

He was incapable of LOVE ━ no, _no_. It was **quite** clear he was proficient in that area. He could not, however, _love_. Nurturing did not come to him naturally. Sweet nothings were bile on his tongue. Affection did not bloom without being squashed by the very real fear of displaying weakness. The cracks up his skull were a very real testament to that fact ━ weakness would - _could_ \- not go without punishment.

That was why the pain of rejection was so _crippling_. The very one who had instilled these lessons into him, so painfully engraved them into his very soul - ingrained into him **physically** , the phantom pains of where his eyelight had once pulsed so brightly begun to ache dully - had gone back on them at the slightest sign of safety - had he not provided enough protecting, was he not enough -, leaving him to sink into paranoia and delusions, sentenced to live out his days and nights in constant terror and fear of when there'd be a bone driven into his back.

But the other him had done everything he could not. He was not afraid, not even when two monsters burst into his home and threatened his very livelihood. He was not broken, fully capable of public displays of care, so freely rubbing it into his face with smiles and lingering hands on his shoulders. The way he could touch his brother without hesitation, _both_ their brothers. It was no wonder that even after everything, he'd been left for something greater.

Sans had abandoned him, and it was all his fault. There'd always been the two of them and now he was alone.

There was no one to blame but himself. He could've been _the one_ if he'd just tried. Sans had left for him, after all. _Another_ version of him. Sloppy, laid back, straight white teeth and a pleasant grin that both enticed and promised, a perfect match for his brother, right? If only he could've changed to be the best for Sans, better, simply not himself, things would be okay. If only he _persevered_ after his brother had come to him so,  _so_ long ago and drove that final lesson into him. If only he kept trying, persisted, kept loving, wanting, yearning, _starving_ ━ 

A touch against his femur sends his thoughts spiraling and fleeing away from him and his form snapping to rigid attention. The presence is almost achingly familiar, yet all wrong at the same time. Just a fraction, he allowed his shoulders to droop. The hand, hesitant at first, firmed and gave the leg a squeeze which he assumed was supposed to be ... comforting. How disgusting he was, especially as his soul thudded gently in response to the attention, wanting so desperately for him to react positively. How vile, how weak. 

Yet he craved it. That simple touch, the acknowledgment. He reacts neither positively or negatively, jaw set in an attempt to quell the faint quiver of his teeth ( it took all he had to allow the touch, bones crawling with discomfort ).

      "THIS IS OKAY, RIGHT?" Even though he bites back a grimace as he does, he instinctively glances over his shoulder at the question, hating that he can feel the confusion pinching his brows.

Why bother asking? Just take what you wanted, it didn't matter.

His brother's double stares at him, large round pupils staring up at him like the world had never cast a shadow on him and he's again reminded of why UnderFell logic does not apply. It'd been startling at first, downright _frightening_ , to be looked at and put upon a pedestal by something so small and insignificant, as if he could not crush the other monster beneath his boot. Yet that question always came back to haunt him ━ _why hadn't he?_ Yet another clear display of his failures in everything he strived to accomplish, the flawless persona he failed to perfect. He couldn't even crush one little squirt.

      "Who do you think I am _?_ " Perhaps his tone had been too harsh, the smaller skeleton flinching back and blinking up at him in stunned silence. The _eyes_ are too much and he forces his singular pupil away, glaring out into the nothingness beyond them. "I'm the _Great_ and _Terrible_ fucking _Papyrus_. Nothing is _okay_ , it's GREAT."

      "YEAH ━ " Was that a _giggle_  ━ "YOU SURE ARE! BUT, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE ** _!_** " He glances downward even though he knows he shouldn't. Those eyes are still there, and he'll get lost. He doesn't want to fall any further from grace than he already has.

Cyan stars are focused intently on him, as if there was nothing else in the world they could see. But why? He's foul, especially in this moment where he sits at his lowest. A _child_ is comforting him. Those words alone do not belong; **comforting _him_**. Another squeeze at his leg brings him back to the present and his brother's clone grins widely as his attention refocuses. His soul pulses and he averts his gaze.

Disgusting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been into Edgeberry rather than Cherryblossom lately so I mean, why not.  
> And yes, the title is a SU reference. I was listening to the VGR remix while writing this.  
> I'll add more tags as we go. Knowing me, it'll probably be chock full of smut as soon as I can stuff it in. God, my thirsty ass will try to plot.


	2. home

Something saddles up beside him, too close and personal to be appropriate, but nothing is quite that clear to his brother's duplicate. Nothing about him was subtle or acceptable, brash as he was.

      "I'VE BEEN THINKING! EDGE, YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR A YEAR TODAY, AND..." His bubbly voice serves for noise that's easily shoved to the background, buzzing pleasantly. They're in the same place at the same time once more, and only now does Papyrus think to question his presence extensively. No one came here anymore. Why would they, now that they were free from it's oppression? It was just an unhappy reminder of what things once were.

He peered into the abyssal gorge before him unblinkingly, dangling his legs into the entrance of the Underground, the top of Mt. Ebott. It was ... calmer here, serene, and that was why he favored the solitude over the bustle of the town monsters had made for themselves at the base of its looming presence. No one ever visited this area or trekked this high up, especially considering this entrance was deemed unfit for travel. It'd be safer to go through New Home than the Ruins, if you even survived the drop down there in the first place.

... And yet, despite that assumption, he'd been found regardless. His senses we're dulling if he hadn't noticed a tail twice in two days. Or, he was simply predictable. Either one was equally shameful.

Perhaps he'd gotten too far caught up in the yawning emptiness below. From this vantage point, he could easily pretend what lied below was home, _his_ home, not this sugar coated image that awaited him as soon as he took a step away. Not even the overhead sun beating down on them could pierce the darkness below and ruin the last vestiges of memory he had left. Things were easier back home. It required _so much less_ thought and second guessing. You fought and asked questions later ━ or _never_ , if the fight came down to it. Here... _here_ , there were too many variables to account for. Too much _backlash_ , too much _pressure_. Too much was expected of you and it was startlingly to realize just how badly he preformed under scrutiny that dug past his physical characteristics or flavor text.

      " ... EDGE?"

      "What?"

Again with the flinching, as if his tone cuts too deep and fast and some part of him boils black at the idea of still being misconstrued as violent after all his _attempts_ \- in vain as they were - to _improve_ , but it fizzles out as easily as it'd been spurned to life. It's too much to put any fight into something so trivial. At another time, he would've jumped at the chance to **give** someone a reason to fear him, but those were days long lost. Days where he wasn't in something as _bare_ as turtlenecks and jeans, leather gloves clinging to his fingers and some slippers cushioning his feet. He was a disappointment. He was washed up.

      "WOULD YOU, UM," Blue twiddles his thumbs like a school boy, foot digging into the soil. It'd be a comical sight if not for his mounting irritation. "I-IF YOU HAD THE TIME, MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO ... NOT THAT YOU HAVE TO AGREE OR ANYTHING !! BUT I THINK IT'D BE GOOD AND ━  "

      "Spit it out, runt," Papyrus snapped, "You know I don't appreciate the run around."

That, for some reason, sends Blue into some elated tizzy. His face lit up and his smile managed to take up half his skull, eyes twinkling with mirth and excitement. This close - so close that Blue's patella knocked repeatedly against his femur - he can hear the excited rattling of bones beneath the younger monster's clothing.

      "DO YOU WANT TO COME HOME WITH ME?!"

He's slow on the uptake and by the time he's picked apart the question 30 times over, Blue had turned the ripened color of his namesake. The nonsensical question of why they hadn't named him _Blueberry_ cropped up briefly before it was shoved to the deepest recesses of his mind.

      " ... What?"

      "YOU HAVEN'T BEEN OVER IN AWHILE, AND, WELL ITS BEEN SO QUIET SINCE PAPY MOVED OUT AND.. " He makes some vague motion with his hands that Papyrus assumes he's supposed to understand, but his deadpan stare gets the little monster to elaborate. "I WANT TO HANG OUT. WITH SOMEONE. WITH ... YOU."

In other words, he's lonely. Vulnerable. An admission that could either make or break him, depending on the person. Weakness was just that, weakness. But, it took a strong person to admit it so freely.

But then again, this was Blue he was thinking about. The squirt was strong physically, but he wasn't aware of himself enough to be allowed that benefit of the doubt. He wasn't that clever. It was best - _easier,_ despite all his screaming instincts - to take things at face value when it came to this skeleton. To this world entirely, sometimes.

This would be an easy request to deny. He could point it out and out right laugh at the monster for his pitiful pleading, for even suggesting the Great and Terrible Papyrus might use some of his precious time to sit around a child, or he could simply stare in silence until Blue felt foolish for asking and sputtered apologies and attempt to send the conversation in another direction with little success. It was a dance they'd been through before.

... But, that's why Sans didn't want him, right? Because he didn't _try_ to do anything besides hurt and belittle. What would be the point in trying now? Would he improve himself and attempt to woo his brother, steal him right from out under his own doubles nose? Would he _magically_ find the answers to life? Bullshit. 

He does it anyway.

      "And just what do you intend to do to amuse me?"

Blue stared at him, starlit pupils shrinking in stunned silence before they dilated and shined so brightly he had to look away. The gaping black staring back at him was comforting and he sneered in response. How pitiful.

      " ━  I HAVE MOVIES AND FOOD AND WE COULD EVEN HAVE A SLEEPOVER. THERE'S A PARK NEARBY IF YOU'D RATHER STAY OUTSIDE. WE CAN MOCK FIGHT OR ━ OR JUST EAT ICE CREAM AND SIT AT A BENCH AND ..."

 At some point in his enthused rambling, the other had braced himself on his knee, swimming forward into his vision. Cyan eyelights trapped him, shimmering with all the adoration he's seen their brother's exchange in private glances and fleeting touches. It's suddenly suffocating and his ribs constrict tightly, soul heaving with the phantom pressure. He feels it shudder and waver. His soul aches.

Instinctively, he _moves_. He's not an idiot however. Fingers hooked into the back of the others t-shirt and drug him away, both from himself and the hole they precariously teetered on the edge of. Preserve and protect. Those commands, at the very least, we're firmly instilled into his bones. It was easy to let the motions execute themselves.

He felt ill. He hated this, himself. He'd take any scrap of attention. It'd be easier if he was color blind, mistaking the calm blues for fiery reds. He could _pretend_. There's an ugly feeling in his marrow.

But that'd be running. The Great and Terrible Papyrus didn't run from his problems ( even if he did it constantly ).

     "Edge? Stars Edge, Are You Okay?" Despite his brashness, there _does_ seem to be times where he knows how to act accordingly. Blue has dropped his tone, but his pronunciation and capitalization are still as prominent as ever. It's amusing and a warmer, well received feeling pricks at his soul. Endearment had always come easy despite his shortcomings in any other aspect of the area, especially with the younger crowd. "Did I Touch You Too Long? I'm So Sorry ━ "

      "I'll entertain your desire to have an audience with me," He doesn't miss the way Blue both colors at that _and_ gives him an indignant glare at his interruption, "but, as _soon_ as you start sprouting shitty friendship nonsense, I'm leaving. Understood?"

      Blue gasped in offense. "ITS _NOT_ ━  ITS NOT _THAT WORD!_ AND WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!!" Witnessing him get worked up over something so simple was normal, familiar. Papyrus reached out, gently knocking his knuckles against the crown of his skull and immediately taking note of the silence. Just like his brother. Worked every time.

      " _Down_ , boy. You're going to burst a vessel none of us knew we even possessed." There's some grumbling, but no further exclamations. "I'll - how did you say it - " _hang out_ " with you until you have your fill of the Great and Terrible Papyrus. Please restrain yourself, however, from being too excited."

The sputtering and fist knocking into his humeri is expected. The immediate gentle curl of steadying fingers around that same arm however, is not. With a surprised glance, he catches the tail end of alarm melting from the other's expression as his gaze drifts away from the pit in front of them. Ah, right. Rough housing up here was idiotic, as he'd already thought before. Papyrus hummed thoughtfully, eyeing the younger out the corner of his socket.

      "SO, COULD WE GO ... NOW THEN?? I ACTUALLY PUT SOMETHING INTO THE STOVE BEFORE I CAME BACK HERE. IT UH," With a swift glance to the clunky watch around his wrist, perspiration dotted Blue's skull. " _MIGHT_ BE SETTING THE HOUSE ON FIRE RIGHT NOW."

      "You're an idiot." And just like that, they're moving.

Bursting with boundless amounts of energy, Blue bounces to his feet with little self preservation before he does and rocks on his heels. He teetered along the edge but grinned broadly as if he had not a care in the world. A gloved hand drifts into his vision and he blinks at the unspoken offer.

      He didn't take it, gruffly brushing the proffered hand away with his own. A part of his wonders if all this sudden attention stemmed from pity or if he had never paid this much attention to Blue before. They were _the brothers_ after all, the _younger_ ones of the duo. They were pushed aside and together whenever the other two went out into the nightlife - even if he and Blue had always been old enough - but Blue had never stood out aside from being a general, loud-mouthed nuisance that he had to babysit. And, well, that one time he managed to knock Papyrus off his ass and pin him in a battle. _That_ had garnered his attention for awhile, but then it'd faded once more.

Sans always came first.

      "ARE THOSE MY BROTHERS?!" It takes a moment for him to process the question and he notes he does that a lot around Blue. His mind stutters and whirls, caught up in too much or simply elsewhere until the smaller skeleton is bringing him forcefully into the present. There's a pointed look at his feet and his pupil slowly trailed down until he caught sight of the fuzzy monstrosities on his feet. Were they bunnies?

     He hates himself. "... he left them at our ━ _my_ house." Yes. It was just his now, for a few weeks actually. Adjustment was taking far too long for his tastes. "They were near the door." He wanted to burn his feet. " ...this is _disgusting_."

Apparently, the venom in his voice had been amusing. Laughter burst from his brother's doppelganger even as he brings his ascot up to his mouth to muffle the noise, shoulders shaking with mirth. It's ━ It's _embarrassing_ and he can feel the flush creeping up his neck bones. It burns at his cheeks and he visibly resists the urge to stamp his foot in indignation, which only earns him _wheezing_. How the mighty have fallen.

Yet, he can't bring himself to feel insulted. It hadn't been condescending laughter, simply ... happy. It was hard to explain, inexperienced as he was with it.

Roughly, he marched down the mountainside, leaving the other monster behind. Frantic calls and pleas are clear, along with rapid footfalls gaining on him. If he had to claim anyone his equal in physical prowess, it'd be Blue, affirmed by the fact the skeleton is at his side before he finishes that thought.

      "DON'T LEAVE ME━" A hand reaches for the corner of his sleeve and he shifts his arm away━ "BEHIND LIKE THAT! YOU SCARED ME."

      "Hmph. Get used to it. Eventually, that can't be prevented." He pretends not to notice how Blue falls several steps behind at his words. Again, Papyrus has no control over the bitter, blunt edge of his own voice.

A shoulder brushes against his arm and Blue is there like he'd never faltered. Close and personal like always.

Disgusting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know what im doing i abandoned the plot outline and im only 2 chapters in  
> y'all prepare for shit that dont make no sense  
> ( im gonna see how many times i can end a chapter with "disgusting" i should rename this "disgusting" )


End file.
